The light and newness of Spring is upon us - I am what is left over after the snow has gone away
I am something that was forgotten about as the frigid winter made us burrow into our cosie homes
Forgetting about what is under the snow and pretending that everything in life is clean and fresh like the pristine snow that covers the truth
Will I be thrown away with the trash
Or, am I still real enough to be absorbed back into the Mother
Created again for a new purpose

this blog is supposed to be about peace of me, but right now the peace is going down the toilet...i get this angry fire going inside me and i try so hard to squash it down... i want to be the peace maybe with every flare up i am quelling the possible inferno inside of me... little by little the fire is tested and the water washes me clean little by little by little bit  I want to be the peace how?

silence

I do not have words right now to go with what my state of being is...when I find the true and fitting word I will share it...until then, I search - in silence and stillness

getting back cracked is good...right?  knitting with sore back is not good...yes.  But, that's what I want to do...hmmm.  Solution...icepack on back and knit at the same time with frequent breaks - I'm must say, dear Watson, I'm brilliant :,)

Grace for the Day

my guide to peace and joy today is this:  Hebrews 2: 14-18, that's all that needs to be said.

Taking up the cross---AGAIN

One look from you and I tremble and shake like a leaf
Where is my backbone?  I look into your eyes and I see the endless darkness
No light at the end of your path
Your lies and deceit - NOT MINE
Your cruelty and bitterness - I WILL NOT OWN AS MY OWN
Your weak and pitiful control - I AM NOT YOUR PUPPET
I can not fix you or fathom your motivations
I pray for your soul - pounded into the dirt and muck of your choices

I will not go with you
I have my own light to follow
I will not let it be extinguished
My panicked breathing will not put out my light
However small it may be - it shines with all the promises...
Heaven is in my small flame of forgiveness
However small - I am present

heart ache

I just came up with an analogy that helps me to understand what is going on with me - emotionally, physically, mentally

If my emotional state was viewable on my body - it would look like an open wound over my heart
I cut myself off from someone I loved - I took the blade and sliced right through - a clean break so to speak
Now the wound wants to be covered again so that I don't feel the pain, ache, soreness-My heart is vulnerable now-it wants to go back to what it knows-that is not good for you, I say-going back will not heal, but make the wound fester and hurt you more-staying on my own, with the wound exposed to the air{of reality}will allow my body, in all its intelligence, to heal this long-suffering heart-to heal and beat again with joy

who am I

Who am I when I am on my own?
Who am I when their is no where else to turn?
Who am I ?
Where did my essential self go?
I am not in another person - I can't be found in the thrill of a new accoutrement - I am not found in the food I use to mask what I am feeling

I am looking for you - when I find you I will be complete as I am - unfinished masterpiece

unplanned peace

ok, I'm going to pick up the kidlettes(to them they are teenagers!), I am expecting a word war with my youngest.  He shocks me out of the water by being agreeable and pleasant.  What planet am I on?  The previous pick-up, he was a raving insult-spewing 12 year old temper tantrum.  Well, my peace for today has come in the form of a battle the I was ready to take on but didn't have to.  So much for being prepared!  But, I,ll take the change in circumstances gracefully and full of gratitude.  Thank you Divine Powers.

peace for today

having no idea if anyone in the world will ever read this, i am going to post anyway - i want to be seen and heard and felt in the heart

my peace for today = eat, pray, love = if ever their was a metaphor for my life, it is this book and movie

i have not experienced all the aspects of this metaphor, but their is enough similarities so far to give me shivers

of what?  of excitement, anxiety, ????

it is a comfort to know that i am not the only one who has experienced difficult, heart renching, cathartic life moments

what is your peace for today?

peace for Sunday

peace=Christ

a peace post

How do I feel when I am at peace - HAPPY - and what made me happy today the childrens book by the name of " The Ice-Cream Cone Coot and other Rare Birds"  by Arnold Lobel.  This book was a fav of my brothers, and now that I have rediscovered it on the dusty shelves at my parents home, it just puts a smile on my face.  If you want a quirky read with imaginative illustrations, check this book out.  Peace=Happy=Book

odd liqueur

what could I do with Cherry Schnapps?  I could pretend its cough syrup (cause that's what it looks like), i could put it on cake-and eat it too - haha...suggestions welcome

no title just words

weel ok, my previous post was totally expressing my peace.  But, in putting that junk out of my head I did achieve a sense of peace and relief.  Today, I am trying to focus on the positive.  What has brought me peace the morning is early morning prayer, a good cup of joe, and oogling the Coldwater Creek sale items.

Soon I will post photos of peace when I figure out how to load pics from my phone. Tata for now, have peace filled day.  If you don't have what you want GO FIND IT!

Hi

i am so tired right now.  I have been through hell.  This Mother's heart is crying for my children's pain.  on the outside I am supportive and affirming.  On the inside I am screaming at that ******))) for all the anguish that is manifesting itself in front of me.  Logically I know what is going on and that I can not control a thing that comes out of his mouth.  Emotionally I feel every dagger that is being landed in my back.  Right now I am at a low spot.  It will not always be this way.  I just feel like I am losing the heart of my children because of his lies.

Resolutions

123 Testing